Captain’s Log: A New Crewmember

I have moped too long over my part in the attack by Harry Whitevale.  I want to say that I lost a finger, that Susana died, that Dr. Tanaka was tortured…  But in the end, no damage was truly permanent.  My finger is now reattached, and, if painful, working decently well.  Susana is stored in a box, but will keep indefinitely, until we can find her a new body.  Dr. Tanaka… seems to have recovered well from the torture.  I am told he even treated Harry Whitevale before the man left the ship.  It seems unnatural to me, but I suppose that a doctor is a doctor.

Moreover, I have spent so much time sitting and obsessing in my quarters that we were already in space before I found out that the ship had acquired a new crewmember.  A soldier to protect us from further tragedies.  I have my doubts about an Arcadian soldier, of course.  Zephyr assures me that the soldier-caste of New Montreal are loyal unto death to whomever they swear allegiance, and that this soldier has sworn allegiance to her.  Well, that is fine, but what use is a soldier from a backwards world where they fight with sharpened steel?  If we are attacked by colonists armed with sticks and stones, perhaps, but… if the galaxy is such an unfriendly place that a security officer is required, then I expect many challenges that would overwhelm a single man, no matter how skilled he is with the weapons of Arcadia.

On the other hand, at least the Zephyr is doing something to prevent future incidents as we travel.  The best I can say was that I tried not to have a hand in anything, as not to cause a future incident.  But that’s foolish.  If I’m afraid of my bad judgment and bad leadership, well, that does not matter – it is Zephyr who is in charge now, and Zephyr who will be making decisions.  I’ll simply do my best, and hope that Zephyr understands my capabilities and limitations to not let me make mistakes.

Or something of that sort.  It is something for the history books.  My own little footnote of how I led the first human FTL expedition for a short while, and led them into disaster so badly that the sentient ship had to step in before we became a weapon for incinerating cities.

I wonder what my role is now.  Have I become first officer, a position I still fail to understand?  Zephyr has been fairly active on her own, and has shown that she does not have a particular need for my help.  Or have I become some figure-head, a disguise to use when she doesn’t want to reveal her existence?  I don’t know, and I don’t think that Zephyr knows either.

Mr. Landerson’s condition is improving.  Pretty soon he will be conscious.  So much has changed since he took that blow to the head… I wonder what he will think.  Susana in a box, a new crew member, and his captain—the one he so rigidly follows despite his dislike—displaced by a like-minded intelligent ship.

I should go around the ship and talk to everyone, at least.  Go back to doing something marginally useful.